Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
