i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
