I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
