He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
