I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
