She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
