I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
