Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
