not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
