I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
