once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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