dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
