my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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