I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
