is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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