More tranny stories later!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
