debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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