this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
