Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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