Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
