Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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