she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
