i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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