What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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