Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have already put on my inside pants.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
