After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
