Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
