I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
