but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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