You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I want to fling myself into the sun
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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