I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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