i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my being single is dangerous.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
