omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
