Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
