Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
