I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
