Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
