I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
