As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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