She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it's like iHOP with fire
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
