and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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