Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
