who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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