Yo dont text me then not text me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The air was thick with penises
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
