she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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