if i can run in heels then i can drive
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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