I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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