I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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