I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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