Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
